VN Ren'Py Abandoned CO FreshGirls [v0.5.5] [LiferSub]

3.00 star(s) 1 Vote
Discussion Reviews (1)
Boehser Onkel

Boehser Onkel

Forum Fanatic
Modder
Feb 20, 2021
4,401
7,409
Jack2122
dont take the comments to hard but think about ,
i would recommend to completly rework the first release
the spelling/sentence errors are bad ..
a good story/writing can compensate ...weak ..renders

gl with your game
 
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Specter2470

Specter2470

Member
Aug 12, 2019
130
162
Ok, so knowing full well the dev's first language may not be English (hell - most likely, really), the grammar, spelling and sentence structure are completely broken.
Hurts my brain reading such stuff.
Sorry, dev, can't do it. I'll fix that shit for free if you want, but I'm not playing a game that causes me migraines
 
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Jack2122

Jack2122

Newbie
Sep 2, 2021
36
74
Specter2470 said:
Ok, so knowing full well the dev's first language may not be English (hell - most likely, really), the grammar, spelling and sentence structure are completely broken.
Hurts my brain reading such stuff.
Sorry, dev, can't do it. I'll fix that shit for free if you want, but I'm not playing a game that causes me migraines
Click to expand...
I understand.
and I will fix this on the next update!
 
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dacris69

dacris69

M, TI
Donor
Nov 20, 2017
2,188
6,277
Reading through this game reminds me of those rpgs where you can play as a dumb one with the intellect set to minimum :ROFLMAO:
 
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U

UncleFredo

Well-Known Member
Aug 29, 2020
1,940
3,683
Yeah the english is very bad, but the renders are nice and the girls are cute. Dev don't let the criticism get you down, get some help to rework the english and keep going. I look forward to your next update. Good Luck!
 
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B

Brojo

New Member
Jun 3, 2018
13
43
Would 100% recommend a proofreader. I did enjoy some of the fantastically poor writing like this gem:

"why didn't you got her yesterday?"
"just reasons, not something interesting"

Got a good belly laugh from that one.
 
O

Oliz82

Active Member
Mar 15, 2021
898
846
Hello.

The demo is short.
The worldbuilding is just a school so limited.
The characters are already numerous and different but not enough male characters for the basketball team.
The story is classic but too fast paced. You go to the library and there's already an exhibitionnist you can fuck. The first night you're already invited to a truth or dare game by only girls that are good with showing their body and, when you wake up after drinking too much, the only thing you think is fucking the closest girl to you. For a dating sim game, it's really strange not to develop the relationship with potential partners (targets but I don't like that term) before having some action. Also, is the MC that frustated sexually to have sex with every woman he encounters? I know it's a porn game but some feelings and romance (what, it's in the tags but I didn't see any) don't do anything bad.
The art is the good point of the game. The characters and the background are well done.
And the main problem is the english. Following what is happening is difficult.

It's too early to asses the evolution of the game and knowing if it'll become good or not but the basis are already there.

Good continuation.
 
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Jack2122

Jack2122

Newbie
Sep 2, 2021
36
74
Oliz82 said:
Hello.

The demo is short.
The worldbuilding is just a school so limited.
The characters are already numerous and different but not enough male characters for the basketball team.
The story is classic but too fast paced. You go to the library and there's already an exhibitionnist you can fuck. The first night you're already invited to a truth or dare game by only girls that are good with showing their body and, when you wake up after drinking too much, the only thing you think is fucking the closest girl to you. For a dating sim game, it's really strange not to develop the relationship with potential partners (targets but I don't like that term) before having some action. Also, is the MC that frustated sexually to have sex with every woman he encounters? I know it's a porn game but some feelings and romance (what, it's in the tags but I didn't see any) don't do anything bad.
The art is the good point of the game. The characters and the background are well done.
And the main problem is the english. Following what is happening is difficult.

It's too early to asses the evolution of the game and knowing if it'll become good or not but the basis are already there.

Good continuation.
Click to expand...
HI
yes I know it was fast paced but from this point it will be more slower... there will be more male characters.... the worldbuilding will not be just in school, the main theme is school setting but not just that there will be more stuff that I'm planning!
the ENGLISH is the most known problem so it's the most likely to need improvement.. all of the dialog.

Thanks for playing and for your feedback!!
 
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3.00 star(s) 1 Vote