The story could be interesting, but there is too much "teenage edgelord" even in english as someone put it before. Not to mention when I put the text display to instant, that is what I want, not tons of elipses that go one dot at a time, not slowly drawing itself out at some unknown pace, instant.
I get writing the story you want to write, go ahead, but stop putting your own reading options as the be all and end all, that is the number 1 reason I have dropped VN's.
The story so far, is reliant on a character who knows things, tons of things, and the player has no idea what those are for a backstory. It places some really stupid choices that literally change nothing, then penalizes you for not choosing to call yourself a liar and a murderer for some nebulous thing that happens when you're a child?!? Too many characters are thrown at you fast, not introduced until way after you the player are introduced to them, and have a completely different idea of what importance they are. Too many times your "best friend" is just some random idiot, with absolutely no reason to be your friend, but could actually be considered an enemy with how many times he not only fails you, but sets you up with a "hehe my bad" attitude that irl I would not only break his nose for, but quickly ignore for the rest of time, he is a literal version of "with friends like these, who needs enemies?". The other characters MAY get better, but sadly, I gave this story as many chances as I could to get itself right, and to stop with the random and nonsensical decisions, it didn't.
Please don't take this as saying it's wholly bad, it's got the possibility of a good story going, but as is, it either needs to be turned into a pure Kinestic Novel, or choices need to actually mean something. I wish you luck in future, but keep in mind that any references need to either be universal, or entirely removed.
Good luck in your projects.
I get writing the story you want to write, go ahead, but stop putting your own reading options as the be all and end all, that is the number 1 reason I have dropped VN's.
The story so far, is reliant on a character who knows things, tons of things, and the player has no idea what those are for a backstory. It places some really stupid choices that literally change nothing, then penalizes you for not choosing to call yourself a liar and a murderer for some nebulous thing that happens when you're a child?!? Too many characters are thrown at you fast, not introduced until way after you the player are introduced to them, and have a completely different idea of what importance they are. Too many times your "best friend" is just some random idiot, with absolutely no reason to be your friend, but could actually be considered an enemy with how many times he not only fails you, but sets you up with a "hehe my bad" attitude that irl I would not only break his nose for, but quickly ignore for the rest of time, he is a literal version of "with friends like these, who needs enemies?". The other characters MAY get better, but sadly, I gave this story as many chances as I could to get itself right, and to stop with the random and nonsensical decisions, it didn't.
Please don't take this as saying it's wholly bad, it's got the possibility of a good story going, but as is, it either needs to be turned into a pure Kinestic Novel, or choices need to actually mean something. I wish you luck in future, but keep in mind that any references need to either be universal, or entirely removed.
Good luck in your projects.
