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So something has happened. Actually, it's been happening all week, but it really struck me today when I went to the store to get groceries.
The entire time I was thinking "I can't wait to get home so I can work on my game."
Wow. What a great feeling that is compared to when I last updated you on my personal struggles two months ago.
At the start of my break I tried to completely detach myself from doing any work. I used my free time to play BG3. Then after I beat that I finally picked up a book I never finished from three years ago. Then read another. And another.
I watched some movies, and a few shows. I spent almost every Saturday having dinner and game night with my parents and other family. My roof is finally fixed. The sewer line is finally clear. I fixed my tub and replaced the faucet.
The first month was hard as I couldn't shake the guilt and "what I should be doing" feeling. But February felt a lot more freeing. And for the first time in a long time, I have been eager to work on TaH.
This is what I've wanted to accomplish, and I'm surprised it happened this fast. While I'm exciting to work on the game right now, I am not jumping into it full force yet. I'm trying to be careful. But if I spend an entire day doing dev work and loving it, I won't stop myself. I'm just not
forcing myself into doing it right now.
So where does that leave things currently? I've had Patreon recurring subscriptions turned off the last two months and I'll continue to turn it off for March. My statement from before stands: once I have an idea for the Ep4 release then I'll turn it back on. I'll handle life without the extra cash for now so I can manage my own expectations/guilt. It's a fair tradeoff for me currently.
There's been a lot of people who have voiced their support to me, and I'm very thankful you've been kind. I know many of you may be familiar with some of my same struggles, and it's a big deal not having to fight other people while you're fighting your own brain.
Once again, thank you. I'll do what I can to reward your patience with me.
-ckr