VN Ren'Py Summer's Gone [S1 Steam + DLC] [Oceanlab]

[Warscared]

i would murder the MC and roofie Sasha...

he would probably start over analyzing the situation and go something like!

hey burly dude number 1 is her teeth hurting you? no? Bella you are a vengeful twat!
yo burly dude number 2! is that pussy any good? Oh OK better then your daughters... nahh i do not judge!
Yo skimpy dude... yes you are also burly but compared with your 2 friends you are kind of the smallest! Oh, really? not your friends, got it! your grandfather and your father... well a family that fucks together gets sticky together! so her ass ... too much friction? oh great to hear, you know i was the one that trained her! you are welcome!

hey Bella why are you crying? you seemed to be enjoying yourself until i showed up!
do not worry and no need for excuses i knew you where a slut from the 1st moment i saw you!
its just sad that i was the one who had to break you in... you did not even knew not to use teeth during mouth action....

yeah yeah yeah, gezz come on, its just that Sasha as been keeping me so busy and occupied i have no time for you! you really want me to answer that? Ok you are like paste... good enough for when nothing better is available... although i think i will pass on you and your 3 friends sauce thank you very much!

ok so, this concept really got to me but i was feeling kind of lazy and decided to give it another go at it!

hope you enjoy my newest fanction dedicated to homemade and Darkdevil66 and ofc Vidal the king of Pervert

So I returned to my dominions in my haunted mansion and went all "Magic mirror on the wall, who is the most delicious vampire one of all?"

and his reply would be, not you since you are a vampire and therefore i can not see you!

it took me 2 days to understand why this was your most fun post... vampires have no reflexions in the mirror!

 

[HogRocket]

MC: Ok, you are like pasta... good enough for when nothing better is available...

That one line right there almost killed me!

 

[dumb69dumb]

I'd add couple more to that recommendation post below yours............

The Deluca Family ( Excellent and one of my favorites )
The Intoxicating Flavor ( Intriguing and can't wait for more )
The Unbroken ( Another masterpiece )
Hillside ( You against some real life shit )
Price of Power (Excellent )
Where It All Began ( You know it )
Reluctant Archon (Bad ass MC but It's gotten an abandoned tag for some time now)
Where The Heart Is ( where you'll find home...) (..honestly I do like the story but I mostly play it for the snarky tarts all around the dialogues )
Melody ( Haven't played yet but heard sweet things about it )
False Hero (Corruption, but it's a cute corruption and the twins*making room for Tiffany and her mother *)
University of Problems ( University of babes and problems )
Rebirth ( You're dead cold...literally )
Amnesia ( Memories...memories...lewd memories )
Becoming A Rock Star
Acting Lessons (...Just kidding...or...am I ?...just kidding....or...it's a loop...)
Measuring My Cum ( ******** )
Being A Dik (You kow that game too ?...come here...* high fives * )
College Kings ( )

..........All right, You got me. I lied when I said couple more. Half of them are like my favorites and for the rest...they are really good too. You should try them.

I'll add more incase I forgot and haven't mentioned or left out from my "favorites".

Thanks for sharing your list. New to all these AVN games so SG is one of my favourites. Acting Lessons got me into the genre. The story and visuals are top notch and the developer can put more focus on one game rather than two.

Which brings me to the question if anyone can share (here or DM) their favourites AVN games that's completed? I've got a feeling that most of these Patreon AVN games will eventually stop without a proper end to the story.

Maybe we should start a Crowdfunding to take over Summer's Gone and hire Ocean Lab lol

 

[loki052456]

wasn't active here for a while, can anyone tell me when are we going to have the next update?

 

[Nekiorem]

wasn't active here for a while, can anyone tell me when are we going to have the next update?

No specific time by Ocean but by his dev logs i am expecting the release near march end - april

 

[Ahx]

ok so, this concept really got to me but i was feeling kind of lazy and decided to give it another go at it!

hope you enjoy my newest fanction dedicated to homemade and Darkdevil66 and ofc Vidal the king of Pervert

MC: Yo Bella, your door was opened, and I let myself in!
MC: you really should lock your doors, safe neighbourhood but still…
PML: who the fuck are you?
MC: who the fuck are you 3 guys?
P.M.L: we are working, yo blonde beach bimbo I told you that cuck husbands pay extra!
Bella: Humph *Crying*
MC: working… hey?
MC: hey burly dude number 1 is her teeth hurting you?
Peter: nahh all good! I am Peter by the way!
MC: no? Bella, you are a vengeful twat!
MC: yo burly dude number 2! is that pussy any good?
Mark: excellent, better than my daughters! Pleasure to meet you, name´s Mark!
MC: Oh, OK better than your daughters...
Mark: what?
MC. nahh i do not judge!
MC. Yo skimpy dude...
Luke: I am not frail man!
MC: yes, you are also burly but compared with your 2 friends you are kind of the smallest!
Luke: they are not my friends, that’s my grandfather on the mouth and my father on her pussy! The name´s Luke you seem to be a cool dude!
MC. Oh, really? not your friends, got it! your grandfather and your father...
Luke: stop judging us!
MC. well a family that fucks together gets sticky together!
Luke: yeah, not many people with family values nowadays!
MC. so her ass ... too much friction?
Luke: not really, it’s like she did this before!
MC: oh, great to hear, you know i was the one that trained her!
Luke: You know as the ass man of the team when there are excoriations it can be dangerous! Proctitis is a real danger and most times the customers hate the usage of condoms!
Luke: good job!
MC: you are welcome!
MC: hey Bella, why are you crying?
Bella: mfhuuuuh challhpuliche *Crying*
MC: what?
Bella: pffuuhhhh shavemhe *Crying*
MC: Hey peter, can you get your dick out of her mouth?
Peter: Dude I am working here
MC: come on!
Peter: Ok
MC. you seemed to be enjoying yourself until i showed up!
Bella: call the police they are raping me you cunt! *Crying*
MC. do not worry and no need for excuses, i knew you were a slut from the 1st moment i saw you!
Bella: They broke in and just started rapping me, its not a game please save me! *Crying*
MC. hey, just because I dropped you over Sasha no need to create stories to get my sympathy!
MC: how would they have gotten the key to your house?
MC: they even parked their pickup truck properly, not to mention they had to have the code to the gate
Bella: *crying* I do not know, please save me, they are hurting me bad, I am sorry for ever miss treating you, but this is non consensual
Bella: you autistic idiot, please save me! It hurts!
Mark: come on, you payed for this!
MC: it’s just sad that i was the one who had to break you in...
MC: you did not even knew not to use teeth during mouth action....
Bella: Please, call the poliche! *Crying*
Peter: this is weird!
Mark: totally, breaking the immersion!
Luke: dudes, I am losing steam here!
MC: yeah yeah yeah, Bella gezz come on,
Bella: why did you not came sooner? *Crying*
MC: it’s just that Sasha has been keeping me so busy and occupied i have no time for you!
Bella: fuck Sasha, call the cops dam it, my poor ass is ruined! *Crying*
MC: Fuck Sasha?
Bella: yes, call the cops, dammit! Are you stupid? If you love me, save me now, please! Don´t you love me? *Crying*
MC: you really want me to answer that?
Bella: no, I want you to call the police! *Crying*
MC: But they seem such nice dudes, see they even stopped now!
Bella: What am I to you? You see 3 dudes raping me and your instinct is to make friends? Do you even care about me? *Crying*
MC: Ok, you are like pasta... good enough for when nothing better is available...
Bella: right now, I do not care! CALL THE COPS DAMMIT! *Crying*
MC: do we really need to get the police involved?
Bella: Yes, please save me from these rapists and I will do anything you want *Crying*
MC: really? Nice, although i think i will pass on you and your 3 friends sauce thank you very much!
Bella: I do not care, CALL THE FUCKING COPS IDIOTS! *Crying*
Peter: and I lost my hard on, no way to shut her up now…
MC: so, what are you guys doing?
Mark: well we were hired to fulfil this crazy broad sex rape fantasy!
Bella: it´s not a fantasy, this is reality, you´re all going to Jail, assholes! *Crying*
Peter: hey calm down lady, we got the contract right here!
MC: this is … interesting! So, you were raping her because someone payed you to do it?
Mark: Of course, we are professionals not like those young ones who rape just for the pleasure of it! I tell you young one, rapist nowadays have no morals standards and have such low self esteem they do it for free!
Luke: totally father, and then women complain about not being properly raped! You get what you pay for ladies!
Bella: but I did not pay for it! *Crying*
Bella: you must believe me MC, I would never do anything like this, I love you, this is just sickening! *Crying*
Mark: then why do we have this bank transfer here for 10.000 dollars?
Bella: That is how you used the pedo´s money? To have me rape, you’re an asshole.
MC: like I would ever spend a dime on you!
Peter: Ok, this does it! Going to call Carmencita, if someone fucked up my lawyer will have a fucking field day on their asses!
Peter: Yo, Carmencita wtf, the woman you sent us over to the house says she did not pay for shit!
Carmencita: ¡Pedro mi caro, mira al contracto otra vez!
Peter: yes, it’s right here number 12 dumb blondes hill, that’s the address!
Carmencita: ¡Ay, dios mío que trabajo solamente con idiotas! Esso es la morada del cliente, non la morada donde se ejecuta el contrato!
Peter: Mark you had Spanish in school talk to the dam foreigner lady!
Carmencita: I said you should check the address on the contract not the fucking address of the customer, you idiot!
Peter: hey, I call it service quality! If the lady knows we are coming it loses half of the excitement!
Carmencita: you dumbfuck, you forgot what happened last time? We had to spend a fortune keeping you idiots out of jail!
Carmencita: ¡dios mío que es imposible de encontrar violadores profesionales hoy en día!
Mark: and she is back to Spanish! Here Luke you talk to her!
Peter: Miss Amber?
Bella: My name is Isabella you creep! *Crying*
Peter: I am truly sorry It was an innocent mistake, here have this voucher that will cut off 90% of all your future raping and sexual fantasy needs you may order from sexscapades.com!
Bella: wtf is that? *Crying*
Mark: it´s the company we work for…
Bella: Fuck you assholes I am going to ruin you and your company!
Luke: well if you do that, whoever Amber van Halen name is will have to be divulged, not to mention this entire mess including the video we are making would have to be made public…
MC: Bella, let me handle this!
Bella: *Crying* so I am just supposed to let the assholes that raped me get away with it? *Crying*
MC: If you want to protect your mother? Sadly yes! But hey this voucher can come in handy in dealing with some motherfuckers!
Mark: Hey
Peter: Not cool dude!
Luke: I do not care; I am the son of my sister…
Peter: come on Son I told you I was drunk…
Bella: Alabama much?
Mark: we are from Georgia, why everyone thinks that all incest happens in Alabama?
MC: brand recognition, I guess?
Mark: probably, they do have a very strong state marketing department!
Luke: idiot, be proud of your state!
Mark: its that dumb job all over again Father!
Peter: come on we all make mistakes, but in the end, we forgive each other! That’s what family is for right kids?
MC: All your names are from apostles of the church?
Mark: yes, we are a very religious family!
MC: and this line of work?
Peter: Look we started back in the 30´s with great grandfather, jobs are hard to find, and this keeps food on the table, so please do not judge!
MC: as stated I do not judge, in reality I kind of envy you guys, you seem to have nice hours you get to work with your family members and you seem to do what you truly enjoy!
Mark: it´s not all the dream that everyone would make you believe; I mean we can only rape crazy bitches who can afford it… and its not the best way to make friends!
Luke: or meet girls, that was an awkward conversation with my girlfriends’ father when he asked me what I did for a living!
MC: I think I can empathise with your struggle!
Bella: CAN SOMEONE PLEASE UNTIE ME ALREADY!
Peter: sure, thing miss, sorry once more, hey Mark nice hogtie you got here!
Mark: thanks father I learned from the best!
Luke: father perhaps we should retire Grandfather Peter?
Luke: last time that nice doctor lady asked for a R1 and we three went and did a R3 on her…
MC: what’s that?
Luke: it´s the work designation R stands for rapist and the number is the amount of rapists for the action!
Luke: gramps here fucked up, so we had to share the income from a R1 for a 3 man´s team!
MC: that sucks!
Mark: indeed, I mean we put in the work… I just felt ripped off!
Peter: Come on, we got to meet that nice lady! What was her name again?
Mark: Nojiko, and she is a doctor she helped poor Luke handling his proctitis situation!
Bella: What’s a proctitis?
Luke: girl you do not want to know that, when you use your dick on an ass and there is some sort of injury on the dick… faecal matter can enter the bloodstream and get infected and…
Bella: ffs dude, 1st you rape my ass and now you rape my mind?
Mc: your fault for asking lady!
MC: Nojiko? That is my mother’s name!
Peter: that´s where you got your good manners and charm off, tell her we love her very much!
Mark: But she was Asian, and you are….
MC: what?
Luke: not Asian?
MC: hey, your grandfather is white your father is clearly Hispanic, and you are clearly black, and you come with racist bullshit?
Peter: Come on Son ease up; in our family we do not discriminate!
Mark: we rape!
Luke: So, grandfather how long we still have to finish the job?
Peter: let me check… 25 minutes?
Mark: what’s the job address?
Peter: Dumb blonde hill number 12
Bella: that is where we are you stupid fucker!
Luke: give me your phone gramps!
Luke: Ok high-class whore hotel downtown by the tennis club!
Peter: How do you check that?
Luke: See here grandfather, pick the job description instead of just going for the picture of the target!
Peter: makes no sense to me, back in the days we just had a black and white photo and we managed, dam computers ruined everything!
Mark: Come on father, you adjusted well to computers, just got to adjust to cell phone technology!
Luke: IT´S A SMART PHONE DAMMIT!
Peter: Now son do not get angry at your father for helping your grandfather!
Luke: But I said it 100 times already!
MC: Dude I am an orphan; be thankful you still got a father and a grandfather!
Luke: Sorry father, you know I love you right?
Mark: and I love you son, even before you were born, I loved the way I raped your mother!
Peter: So young MC want to join us and go down to rape Amber?
MC: not sure it´s my thing!
Mark: Come on some work experience on your bones can not hurt!
Luke: yeah dude, and we can hang out afterwards, you would not believe how hard it is to make friends around my age when people discover what I do for a living!
Bella: well that and you being black, racism…
Mark: do not assume racism when stupidity explains it better young missy!
Peter: yeah, I had the same issues as my grandkid, people can be such bigots against rapist, we are just like everyone else!
PML: Amber van Halen, Puff a Train, Puff a Train, Noisy Little puff a train, If you are going to the sea, Puff a train, Oh! please take me, Puff- puff- puff, Ssh- ssh- ssh, Puff -Puff- puff, Ssh-ssh-ssh, Ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh! …
MC: what`s that?
Luke: we are getting hyped to go and do our job!
Bella: which is?
Mark: Come on Join us MC!
MC: Ok, how do we sing this?
PLM+MC: Puff a Train, Puff a Train, Noisy Little puff a train, If you are going to the sea, Puff a train, Oh! please take me, Puff- puff- puff, Ssh- ssh- ssh, Puff -Puff- puff, Ssh-ssh-ssh, Ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh! … WE´RE GONNA RUN A TRAIN ON AMBER VAN HALEN… Puff a Train, Puff a Train, Noisy Little puff a train, If you are going to the sea, Puff a train, Oh! please take me, Puff- puff- puff, Ssh- ssh- ssh, Puff -Puff- puff, Ssh-ssh-ssh, Ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh! … WE´RE GONNA RUN A TRAIN ON AMBER VAN HALEN…
Bella: bunch of idiots, I feel so violated! Why does my ass keeps getting wrecked by assholes?
Bella: And does my mother really enjoys this kind of hard shit?

outside

MC: really cool pick up!
Peter: it´s just our work car, i drive a Mercedes sl500 my son here drives a BMW i500 and my grandson got himself a very nice Audi tt
Mark: Yeah dude it pays quite well!
MC: then why do you drive an old pick up?
Luke: it´s like when you work in a restaurant and you got to use the penguin suit man!
Luke: If you want to be in the raping industry an old rusty pick up, overalls and long beard is our penguin suit!

 

[Warscared]

View attachment 1647509

actually after writting it i kind of felt bad about it!

it does not work on a fundamental basis! i am considering deleting it!

even if i was to work and make it a better woven story the fundamental basis of a non consensual brutal 3 way rape does not vibe well with me! i would need to remove Bella crying which is one of the things that makes me cringe and work better on a few other aspects but even then its too much NTR for those who are into Bella...

you are probably right this fanfiction is shit indeed, there are a few aspects that are funny or that could be better worked to make them more comedic but at the basis its not a fun story but a traumatic event!

most of my other fanfiction even the brutal rapes that were done by the MC are kind of consentual in terms of Bella wanting to get close to him and enduring bad treatment... like if she choose to do it, in this specific one as her freedom of choice is removed it becomes a totally non consentual thing!

even the end of the clif hanger she being forced to have no revenge for it as a way to protect her mothers good name makes it all too realistic!

actually several parts of this story are parts of biographies of what can go wrong when working as a male in the sex industry!

there are hundreds of funny stories like people getting adresses wrong, VD´s, wrong idenTITTIES husbands trying to furfill wife´s fantasies and all going to shit,

So to those that felt wronged by this story... i was the 1st one to feel wronged by it its a crude and baddly done attempt at funny possibility that does not work... fuck i doubt it even works for people who enjoy NTR or even rape roleplay!

my apologies!


-- 1stº edit ---



for instance blaming it all on a senile old man, when he admited that he used to work just based on pictures means he would have done it on purpose!
So a no go!
it would it would also poke fun at the inter race marriages and relationships in the united states since this specific family would be one of the most progressive one´s since when the kids where born society saw these types of relationships as non acceptable thus the white grandafther married an hispanic woman (or raped her...) when it was badly seen and his sort of hispanic son did the same with a black woman when such relationships where badly seen!

the joke would be on the contrast of a typical religious and conservative family as the religious names indicate against the actions that they took in life which would place them at the forefront of what progressive ideals stand for in terms of individual freedom of choice to engage with whomever you so wish to!

even their entire idea of every relationship equating to rape is quite progressive actually!

there is also a few other aspects of how race relationships kids and what a family stands for in today´s society based on their class or perceived class!
their income would be top tier, but their work attire puts them at the lowest ranks of society!
reminds me of a friend of mine that works in a bank as to wear suit and tie everyday, while the really rich people just use shirts or sweaters and do not give a crap! and yet for society the sucefull one´s are the suit and tie and not the sweater and baggy trousers dudes who only work for fun!
this is extandable to a certain degree in the cars they drive and their "work" vehicule contrast, meaning that all work enviroment professional and ethics is performative and does specifically indicates a persons ethics!

in many ways we know this as people who work in the serviçe industry are either the most carefree in the world or the total opposite with the darkest shadow one can imagine! for instance the example of nurses who when they are good its rarely down to their professional skills but their extreme soft skills in caring for others and yet amongst the worst criminals in the world are the nurses known as the dark angels, psychopats that take out their pacients just because they can find excuses in the dosages or because they can steal parts of very expensive medication to sell on the black market turning a profit on the literal pain of those who are unable to defend themselves!

please do not confuse the dark angels with the white angels (and no this is not a racist perjurative observation) since the white angels do indeed also kill their pacientes, but they do so in clinical situations where the pacient of their own free will and in full capacity of their menthal abilities ask them for help to comit euthanasia/suicide!

its all in this text i created and yet it fails on the fundamental aspect of even if it jokes with current stigmas the basis of it is still wrong!

so as you can see behind such a simple text there is a vast array of knowledge that is put into it ... but as the comunist economical theory of value is a bust so does a text that as all these underlines and so much background fails in the simple fact that it does not add value due to a fundamental flaw!

could i recover it? probably but the work needed would not justify the end result, all the best jokes are done all it would achieve would make it more tolerable without adding anything new! could others do it? that is the reason why i have not removed it yet! there are some good quips and some jokes underneath the surface on the subtext that can be used on other works!

so the text fails but we can scuffle it for parts since parts of it are actually brilliant!


-- 2º edit--


the most stupid part in all of this is... it took 3 and half hours to writte it down!

all my other fanfiction took me beteween 5 minutes and half an hour, so basically i wasted 3.5 hours to write shit when normally and in an organic way i can writte far better shit in 1/7 of the time!

 

[Laehtsia]

I recently replayed and OMG I totally forgot how beautiful was Robin tbh ngl

Why she is not a LI ?

 

[rerderrum]

I recently replayed and OMG I totally forgot how beautiful was Robin tbh ngl

Why she is not a LI ?

Because you already have Nami and don't need anyone else. Who is this Robin?

 

[Laehtsia]

Because you already have Nami and don't need anyone else. Who is this Robin?

Bro im confused are you a doppelganger or something

 

[operamini]

God, wish I could fast forward the time dang it.

They made a movie about that, it ends up not being fun at all.

Anyone know anything similar with good MC and great story?

Outside the multiple others recommended, i would also recommend:
Retrieving the Past (bad ass MC)
PineFalls (writer gets stuck)
SandStorm (Egypt=cool)
Snowstorm (as one would guess from the same team that did SandStorm, Vikings=Cool)
Element 174 (future depends on yo dick)
Hardtimes(poor to mafia)

 

[hellomate1]

They made a movie about that, it ends up not being fun at all.

I think South Park also parodied this, when Cartman couldn't wait for the Nintendo Wii's release.

 

[Ahx]

actually after writting it i kind of felt bad about it!

it does not work on a fundamental basis! i am considering deleting it!

even if i was to work and make it a better woven story the fundamental basis of a non consensual brutal 3 way rape does not vibe well with me! i would need to remove Bella crying which is one of the things that makes me cringe and work better on a few other aspects but even then its too much NTR for those who are into Bella...

you are probably right this fanfiction is shit indeed, there are a few aspects that are funny or that could be better worked to make them more comedic but at the basis its not a fun story but a traumatic event!

most of my other fanfiction even the brutal rapes that were done by the MC are kind of consentual in terms of Bella wanting to get close to him and enduring bad treatment... like if she choose to do it, in this specific one as her freedom of choice is removed it becomes a totally non consentual thing!

even the end of the clif hanger she being forced to have no revenge for it as a way to protect her mothers good name makes it all too realistic!

actually several parts of this story are parts of biographies of what can go wrong when working as a male in the sex industry!

there are hundreds of funny stories like people getting adresses wrong, VD´s, wrong idenTITTIES husbands trying to furfill wife´s fantasies and all going to shit,

So to those that felt wronged by this story... i was the 1st one to feel wronged by it its a crude and baddly done attempt at funny possibility that does not work... fuck i doubt it even works for people who enjoy NTR or even rape roleplay!

my apologies!


-- 1stº edit ---



for instance blaming it all on a senile old man, when he admited that he used to work just based on pictures means he would have done it on purpose!
So a no go!
it would it would also poke fun at the inter race marriages and relationships in the united states since this specific family would be one of the most progressive one´s since when the kids where born society saw these types of relationships as non acceptable thus the white grandafther married an hispanic woman (or raped her...) when it was badly seen and his sort of hispanic son did the same with a black woman when such relationships where badly seen!

the joke would be on the contrast of a typical religious and conservative family as the religious names indicate against the actions that they took in life which would place them at the forefront of what progressive ideals stand for in terms of individual freedom of choice to engage with whomever you so wish to!

even their entire idea of every relationship equating to rape is quite progressive actually!

there is also a few other aspects of how race relationships kids and what a family stands for in today´s society based on their class or perceived class!
their income would be top tier, but their work attire puts them at the lowest ranks of society!
reminds me of a friend of mine that works in a bank as to wear suit and tie everyday, while the really rich people just use shirts or sweaters and do not give a crap! and yet for society the sucefull one´s are the suit and tie and not the sweater and baggy trousers dudes who only work for fun!
this is extandable to a certain degree in the cars they drive and their "work" vehicule contrast, meaning that all work enviroment professional and ethics is performative and does specifically indicates a persons ethics!

in many ways we know this as people who work in the serviçe industry are either the most carefree in the world or the total opposite with the darkest shadow one can imagine! for instance the example of nurses who when they are good its rarely down to their professional skills but their extreme soft skills in caring for others and yet amongst the worst criminals in the world are the nurses known as the dark angels, psychopats that take out their pacients just because they can find excuses in the dosages or because they can steal parts of very expensive medication to sell on the black market turning a profit on the literal pain of those who are unable to defend themselves!

please do not confuse the dark angels with the white angels (and no this is not a racist perjurative observation) since the white angels do indeed also kill their pacientes, but they do so in clinical situations where the pacient of their own free will and in full capacity of their menthal abilities ask them for help to comit euthanasia/suicide!

its all in this text i created and yet it fails on the fundamental aspect of even if it jokes with current stigmas the basis of it is still wrong!

so as you can see behind such a simple text there is a vast array of knowledge that is put into it ... but as the comunist economical theory of value is a bust so does a text that as all these underlines and so much background fails in the simple fact that it does not add value due to a fundamental flaw!

could i recover it? probably but the work needed would not justify the end result, all the best jokes are done all it would achieve would make it more tolerable without adding anything new! could others do it? that is the reason why i have not removed it yet! there are some good quips and some jokes underneath the surface on the subtext that can be used on other works!

so the text fails but we can scuffle it for parts since parts of it are actually brilliant!


-- 2º edit--


the most stupid part in all of this is... it took 3 and half hours to writte it down!

all my other fanfiction took me beteween 5 minutes and half an hour, so basically i wasted 3.5 hours to write shit when normally and in an organic way i can writte far better shit in 1/7 of the time!

I knew something ese was put behind those huge chunk of dialogues mate...there always is. It might come across as 'Warscarred's hatred or projection towards Bella' for some here but it actually isn't.

Your next fan fiction must include Sasha 'cause it's staring to seem like you don't have that much deeper connection with her like you always makin' it there is...you don't write things about Sasha, good or bad, 'cause you have nothing to say about her or TO her. Even your stupid love poem of her doesn't even define her, it can well be suited for any other characters mate. Yeah I know you're gonna chicken out like always by shitting something like ' I have nothing to prove..blah..blah..blah..'...whatever.

The thing about the nurses though, I've never learnt of those dark or white angels. I know those specific sweet nurses are often called angels of death or mercy but never heard of them being referred to as dark or white angels.

 

[yossa999]

Anyone know anything similar with good MC and great story?

If I may put my two cents in:
MatrixHearts - great renders, good written dialogues, funny MC and a bit of good humor.
The Bite - yet another vampire story. If you like the "Rebirth" - you could like it too.
Life Happened - the dark story of a boy becoming the criminal boss.
A Man For All - a typical AVN story (the university, the girls, the challenge, the rivals), but very well done.

 

[Warscared]

I knew something ese was put behind those huge chunk of dialogues mate...there always is. It might come across as 'Warscarred's hatred or projection towards Bella' for some here but it actually isn't.

Your next fan fiction must include Sasha 'cause it's staring to seem like you don't have that much deeper connection with her like you always makin' it there is...you don't write things about Sasha, good or bad, 'cause you have nothing to say about her or TO her. Even your stupid love poem of her doesn't even define her, it can well be suited for any other characters mate. Yeah I know you're gonna chicken out like always by shitting something like ' I have nothing to prove..blah..blah..blah..'...whatever.

The thing about the nurses though, I've never learnt of those dark or white angels. I know those specific sweet nurses are often called angels of death or mercy but never heard of them being referred to as dark or white angels.

I DO NOT NEED TO PROVE ANYTHING TO YOU OR ANYONE ELSE!

as stated i write in my imagination hundreds of stories about Sasha, guess what, not that funny and although interesting the 1st time they hold hands, the 1st time they lock eyes, the 1st time they smile at each other is it any good for the 100th time?

All happy endings are the same dude, there is no story to be told! that is how perfect Sasha trully is!

Anyway i deleted the story! if you want it you can have it from Ahx quote, i still got it stored but its just wrong!

 

[DarkOs31]

This should be the F95 anthem and should be sticky

 

[Warscared]

Ahx as you can see not that interesting!


Sasha: Hey MC, what are you doing?
MC: wtf, how did you got in?
Sasha: Nojiko let me in, did you not heard me ring the door?
MC: Sorry babe, i was busy with this game!
Sasha: what is it?
MC: i am the king and i gotta make decisions to strive!
Sasha: Boring....
Sasha: just shut it down and lets talk... and perhaps make out?
MC: MOTHERFUCKER HE JUST TOOK OUT ONE OF MY ARMIES, I WILL RAPE YOUR WIFE YOU CUNT!
Sasha: hey babe, calm down!
MC: fuck i dumb fucked hardcore, these asshole´s Munso´s are too strong for my Danish warriors!
Sasha: so you messed with someone stronger then you? smart...
MC: need time to gather my Norwegian levies and call my Pomeranian Slavic levies!
Sasha: how are you gonna do that?
MC: time to set up a revolt in his finish possessions!
Sasha: what? are you even listening to me?
MC: Sure love, love you, whatever you say!
Sasha: i know we are not there yet but... want a blowjob?
MC: i love you too my love, now that i got breathing space lets use our Sjalander mariner raiders to Burgholm!
Sasha: you know i am willing to swallow your cum!
MC: yes you´re right baby, totally agree with you! now raze those temples and burn those towns mwuahahahahahha
Sasha: what are you doing? are you even listening to me?
MC: ofc babe, love you so much! here see my raiders are butchering the children and spiking and impaling them on tree their men are already dead and their womenfolk have ben put in their places as broodmare whores for my brilliant and brave warriors,
Sasha: that is so sexy i am getting wet!
MC. sure we had 2000 warriors and they only mustered 200 but fuck it they totally outplayed me when their 3000 men army destroyed my 4000 army... my king the great Podrolf of Denmark with his 21 martial skills was totally outplayed by that Sigurd ring cunt and his son Ragnar with their respective 35 and 28 martial skills!
Sasha: take what´s your baby, make me your woman!
MC: i shall, HAVE MY REVENGE!
MC: shit they crushed their revolt and they are coming for me!
MC: just got a message from them. the rape of Burgholm will be avenged... perhaps i fucked up?
Sasha: i love on how concentrated you can get playing games!
MC: ok i know what i have to do, run to alfheim where i can gather my Norwegian vassal armies!
Sasha: you think my titties too small sweety?
MC: love you so much Sasha, so yes i always agree with you!
MC: ok my vardian marshal is gathering my Slavic levies, fortifying Sjaeland my capital!
Sasha: here let me remove my top and tell me what you think of my titties!
MC: yes baby, you´re perfect and wonderful! IDIOT SIGURD HE IS ATTACKING MY SJAELLANDer ARMY!
MC: he must land his troops on a fully garrisoned island his manpower advantage is irrelevant as as i keep receiving my Slavic warrior his advantage will soon fade!
Sasha: here let me remove my bra, you think my pink nipples too small my love?
MC: yes sweety, you´re so smart! FOR FUCK SAKE WHY DID YOU STUPID IDIOT VARDIAN LET MY LEFT FLANK FALL FFS! AND THAT PRUSSIAN CUNT IS GOING TROUGH HOLSTEIN INSTEAD OF GOING STRAIGHT TO SJAELAND WITH ALMOST 1500 WARRIORS! YOU CUNT, BAD VASSAL BAD VASSAL!
Sasha: you know when i pinch my nipples it kind of feels nice, wanna try?
MC: everything for you my love! MOVE YOUR ASSES NORWEGIAN IDIOTS GOTTA RUN TO SJAELAND BEFORE EVERYTHING IS LOST FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!
MC: hold hold hold ffs i can not loose this, hold that line! YES YOU BEAUTIFUL PRUSSIAN ASSHOLE YOU ARRIVED JUST IN TIME TO SAVE THE DAY!
Sasha: can i get under the desk and suck you off baby?
MC: love you too Sasha, OH SHIT FFS HOW CAN YOU WITH A LANDING ADVANTAGE AND 1.2 SOLDIER FOR EACH ONE OF THEM LOOSE THE CENTER, IDIOTS I AM SURROUNDED BY IDIOTS!
Sasha: let me just unzip your trousers!
MC: you´re the perfect girlfriend any man would ever wish for! RUN YOU ASSHOLE WE GOT 2 ORGANIZERS AND YOU STILL MOVE LIKE SLUGS!
Sasha: whoaaa you are hard ... that`s a 1st!
MC: oh yeahhhh now you be fucked you cunt Swedish asshole, calling my beautiful danes DIK`s in your other game and painting us as assholes just because of a raid or two!
Sasha: can you feel how i kiss your dick? you like it?
MC: yes baby you´re amazing and i love you no matter what! ffs bring down his flank, FUCK HIS FINISH LEVIES ARE COMING! HURRY THE FUCK UP AND CRUSH HIM! PLEASE ODIN AND THOR ONE TIME, ONE FUCKING TIME, I PROMISES I WILL SACRIFICE MY 1ST BORN! ok 1st born daughter lets not get over our heads!
Sasha: i kiss your dick and you do not even flinch...
MC: YES I RULE, FUCK YOU SWEDES I CAPTURED YOUR KING AND YOUR HEIR PRINCE! MAKE 145 GOLD OR... EXECUTE THEM KILL THEM ALL, FUCK YOU AV MUNSO!
Sasha: ouch, do not jump like that when i am under your desk, i hurt my head!
MC: YES YES YES NOW WE ALSO CRUSH THEIR ALLIES ARMIES! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Sasha: are you even listening to me!
MC: NOW GET MY NAVY OUT! THROUGH THE CONTROL OF THE SOUND, WE RULE THE STRAIGHT OF KATTEGAT AND ITS WEALTH, WHEREVER THE SEA CAN BE HEARD, WE SHALL PREY ON THE SHORES, WE RULES THE SOUND, WE RULE THE WAVES, WE ARE THE SPEARDANES SHIELDDANES AND SWORDDANES AND THE VIKING AGE IS COMING FOR YOUR SOULS! MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TREMBLE YOU WEAKLINGS!
Sasha: that shit is so sexy, take me now!
MC: babe... what are you doing under the desk with your ... *blush* tidbits out *blush*
sasha: you did not even notice you got your dick out... annnnnnnnnnnnndddd your hard on is gone!
MC: oh, i am so sorry babe, i meant no disrespect to you, it must have jumped out of my shorts!
Sasha: shut up and kiss me already you dumb doofus!
MC: Yes, ofc baby!
Sasha: can you taste your pre-cum on my lips?
MC: What? *throws up*
Sasha: really? i do not even know why i care to visit you!
MC: because, and i hope, its because you love me as much as i love you?
Sasha: i suspect that i love you more then you love me!
MC: nahh i love you more!
Sasha: i will be happy if you love just half as much as you love your computer games!
-- Nojiko enter the room to see what`s going on--
Nojiko: WTF SASHA, get dressed, are you trying to corrupt my little boy? why did you threw up?
MC: Nojiko, knock before you enter!
Nojiko: its my house young one, i do as i please, and i am too young to be a grandmother!
Sasha: Yes you are nojiko!
Nojiko: Thanks, my beautiful peach!
Nojiko: i have no idea why you love this idiot son of mine, but i thank god everyday that someone as beautiful and cute as you do!
MC: perhaps i am irresistible?
Sasha&Nojiko: MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OMG!
Nojiko: Must be his sense of humour!
Sasha: i do not know, but its part of it for sure!

 

[Dr.Brule]

Tha shit happened...what did i just read

 

[Ahx]

Ahx as you can see not that interesting!

Well....I suppose it's because neither you nor anyone else knows who Sasha is really...I mean, we had like five minutes of playthrough of her... Nothing significant about her was mentioned, not even a little bit of her backstory, if that hadn't been the case, we could have conjured up something that would resemble somewhat of her personality.

What we DO know about her is that she loves books, yoga, Jujutsu, a little taekwondo, Robin, her ridiculous earring, and something that's supposed to be pure white.

 

[Warscared]

Well....I suppose it's because neither you nor anyone else knows who Sasha is really...I mean, we had like five minutes of playthrough of her... Nothing significant about her was mentioned, not even a little bit of her backstory, if that hadn't been the case, we could have conjured up something that would resemble somewhat of her personality.

What we DO know about her is that she loves books, yoga, Jujutsu, a little taekwondo, Robin, her ridiculous earring, and something that's supposed to be pure white.

and that she hates weakness, only the strong survive!

anyway i have dozens of stories like the one i just described in my imagination but seriously except for me i do not see the interest in that!

i was able to make that one interesting because it´s something that most young women can relate trying to get their boyfriends attention while they play video games!

but i had to make her far more sexually agressive and i had to dumb down the MC to a level we know he does not have... or never shows to even make the story palatable!

the original story was they debating strategy on how to beat a more numerous better organized and better lead enemy... so a shitload of very dry shit except for nerds who like military history or strategy games!