Ren'Py Completed Tropicali [v1.0.0] [Story Anon]

[Ass bandit]

Playing as an ultra-possessive sociopath was...different. Interesting seeing a more realistic evil MC, though.

 

[Ass bandit]

it's funny to say this because our MC quite literally a comic book villain (in the bad end) he does not give a shit about these women and will do anything to further his goals (quite a lot of the dialogue/text is about this). Sadly I think part of why it feels "sudden" is because of how good the sex/intimacy scenes are and most people are playing porn games for the porn.

The MC is a piece of shit from day one. There was nothing 'sudden' about anything. He says he is going to fuck them over for his own gain, and he does just that. Anyone who was surprised obviously did not read any of the text.

 

[EpicLewds]

The MC is a piece of shit from day one. There was nothing 'sudden' about anything. He says he is going to fuck them over for his own gain, and he does just that. Anyone who was surprised obviously did not read any of the text.

pretty much what I meant in my initial comment, people are playing the porn game for the porn and ignoring dialogue

 

[Vall709]

El juego es genial pero es una lastima que no tenga sonido en el coito, sería genial que tuviera sonido como el juego ETERNUM que por cierto recomiendo a todos

 

[Tehemai]

Not to keep beating the dead horse, but people rationalizing that the ending is actually well done still haven't given an adequate explanation to why so many of his internal monologues do not mesh with the bastard personality the game intends. All the lovey dovey stuff doesn't function as "nuance" as actual nuance still needs to function under some internal logic. Here whereas he has a reason to pretend he cares verbally, he has no reason to pretend he cares in his mind. Even a self-deluding person would eventually peter off from his façade in the privacy of his own thoughts.

These thoughts and scenes functioned purely as red herrings. As in it obviously had no real reason to exist other than to fool the reader. Even if the game mentions at the beginning of the game that he may ruin their life, for it to be well made the tone of a game and the personality of its characters still have to be consistent throughout every scene. Not just some of them. You can't just mix and match it from scene to scene and expect an intelligent reader to just go with it because of an offhand remark at the beginning of the game.

I don't fully understand the criticisms of the ending. I thought it fit considering the choices you were given along the story (which I will grant was only whether or not to have sex with the girls). The main theme of exploitation, of both the island, its people, and your love interests remained consistent. Every time you were asked to engage with them sexually, the MCs inner monologue explained how you were essentially exploiting their internal weakness. Jessica and her loss and subsequent guilt, Kaoru and her abandonment issues, and Laoise is just straight up grooming. By consistently making the choice to have intimate moments with them (which I did, bc porn game lol), it makes sense you end up becoming more detached from their own suffering, caring only about yourself. Because, at the end of it, that's what you did. You just went along with what they said to get your dick wet, which is itself a pretty meta narrative. I think the ending is pretty spot on to what has clearly been building up for a while.

Anyway, thats my 2 cents.

To clarify, it's because those inner monologues weren't actually explaining that he was doing that. Quite the opposite, they were written in a way where he was questioning whether it was right to engage with them given their delicate situations. Thoughts like "Should I really be sleeping Laoise given her mental state?" are not admissions of wanting to exploit Laoise. They are thoughts of self-doubt and consideration towards her. Specifically from someone that is trying to avoid exploiting her. These considerations are an indicator of a conscious, something any good person looking to date them would have to think about. Selfish and malicious thoughts generally have a very different slant and tone.

 

[Simpgor]

Not to keep beating the dead horse, but people rationalizing that the ending is actually well done still haven't given an adequate explanation to why so many of his internal monologues do not mesh with the bastard personality the game intends. All the lovey dovey stuff doesn't function as "nuance" as actual nuance still needs to function under some internal logic. Here whereas he has a reason to pretend he cares verbally, he has no reason to pretend he cares in his mind. Even a self-deluding person would eventually peter off from his façade in the privacy of his own thoughts.

They can't and won't

Multiple people asked the same thing right when the update dropped, I asked half a dozen questions about the ending in addition to that and despite the fact it would be beneficial and easy (since the ending is good actually in their eyes) they literally can't say a single thing about it beyond

"No it's good and you just don't get it, it makes sense that ultra evil BASED MC (internally) worries about the girls but not play into the duality of that at all"

Spoiler: Reasons

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

 

[sabadongelov]

Not to keep beating the dead horse, but people rationalizing that the ending is actually well done still haven't given an adequate explanation to why so many of his internal monologues do not mesh with the bastard personality the game intends. All the lovey dovey stuff doesn't function as "nuance" as actual nuance still needs to function under some internal logic. Here whereas he has a reason to pretend he cares verbally, he has no reason to pretend he cares in his mind. Even a self-deluding person would eventually peter off from his façade in the privacy of his own thoughts.

These thoughts and scenes functioned purely as red herrings. As in it obviously had no real reason to exist other than to fool the reader. Even if the game mentions at the beginning of the game that he may ruin their life, for it to be well made the tone of a game and the personality of its characters still have to be consistent throughout every scene. Not just some of them. You can't just mix and match it from scene to scene and expect an intelligent reader to just go with it because of an offhand remark at the beginning of the game.



To clarify, it's because those inner monologues weren't actually explaining that he was doing that. Quite the opposite, they were written in a way where he was questioning whether it was right to engage with them given their delicate situations. Thoughts like "Should I really be sleeping Laoise given her mental state?" are not admissions of wanting to exploit Laoise. They are thoughts of self-doubt and consideration towards her. Specifically from someone that is trying to avoid exploiting her. These considerations are an indicator of a conscious, something any good person looking to date them would have to think about. Selfish and malicious thoughts generally have a very different slant and tone.

1. I have already explained this to you. A person doesn’t have to be a comic book villain who does evil for the sake of evil, in order to be an asshole who causes harm to others. You claim you can’t exploit someone you care about. That is just not true. The real world is filled with individuals who treat the people they love and care about poorly. In this case, the MC is an exploitative and manipulative egotist. But that doesn’t preclude him from caring for the LIs in his own way (his own way = a way that tends to be beneficial to himself). That is what nuance means in this case, the real world is not black and white.

2. But let’s for arguments sake say you are correct, the inner monologue doesn’t mesh. Ok, but then you are still incorrect, when you say it’s the ending that is bad. If you think that his actions and inner monologue doesn’t mesh and the game outright telling you he will ruin the lives of the LIs don’t mesh with the lovey dovey aspects of the game/his personality, then it isn’t the ending that is bad, but the entire game. For the ending to be bad in an otherwise fine game, we have to pretend that the game doesn’t tell us he will ruin their lives and that he doesn’t manipulate and exploit them for his own benefit.

 

[Tehemai]

1. I have already explained this to you. A person doesn’t have to be a comic book villain who does evil for the sake of evil, in order to be an asshole who causes harm to others. You claim you can’t exploit someone you care about. That is just not true. The real world is filled with individuals who treat the people they love and care about poorly. In this case, the MC is an exploitative and manipulative egotist. But that doesn’t preclude him from caring for the LIs in his own way (his own way = a way that tends to be beneficial to himself). That is what nuance means in this case, the real world is not black and white.

2. But let’s for arguments sake say you are correct, the inner monologue doesn’t mesh. Ok, but then you are still incorrect, when you say it’s the ending that is bad. If you think that his actions and inner monologue doesn’t mesh and the game outright telling you he will ruin the lives of the LIs don’t mesh with the lovey dovey aspects of the game/his personality, then it isn’t the ending that is bad, but the entire game. For the ending to be bad in an otherwise fine game, we have to pretend that the game doesn’t tell us he will ruin their lives and that he doesn’t manipulate and exploit them for his own benefit.

That's not what one would call an explanation, that's what one would call a strawman. Nowhere did I argue he needs to be a comic book villain. Quite the opposite, it is because he's not portrayed as some comic book villain that I've been arguing his character needed to exhibit some level of consistency. He does not suffer from a split personality disorder so if you want to write a story where an otherwise good person grows corrupt, then you actually need all the scenes to reflect his character. He can't just bounce around between intoxicating compassion to complete sociopath from day to day.

I get the dev wanting to have a darker ending. And I'd be more than fine with that if the game was set up for it. But it's not. And you can't just gloss over the majority of what you've already written for Fernando to have him burst into silly cartoon villainy for the sake of an edgy ending. Regardless of the handful of narration warnings that something bad may happen.

Sure you can blame the whole game instead of the ending. If you recall, I said from the start that the ending could work for a different game. But the problem is it's not a different game, so what difference does that make? Given that the game is what it is, the statement that the ending is bad still applies. As in if I say 5 is a bad answer to 2 + 2, of course you can suggest 5 could be a good answer if the problem weren't 2 + 2. But atm the problem is 2 + 2, so 5 is still a bad answer.

 

[FungiFungi]

Ow no the game had the "completed" tag before the "anal sex" tag :[

 

[sabadongelov]

That's not what one would call an explanation, that's what one would call a strawman. Nowhere did I argue he needs to be a comic book villain. Quite the opposite, it is because he's not portrayed as some comic book villain that I've been arguing his character needed to exhibit some level of consistency. He does not suffer from a split personality disorder so if you want to write a story where an otherwise good person grows corrupt, then you actually need all the scenes to reflect his character. He can't just bounce around between intoxicating compassion to complete sociopath from day to day.

But you are basically arguing that right now, when you are demanding that the MC have to be evil through and through. Fine, you can have that preference if you want, but you are wrong about the inconcistency, the MC can both be an exploitable asshole and at the same time be a charming upbeat kind of dude who, in his own way, cares for his LIs. There is no contradiction there, because humanity isn't all black and white.

I get the dev wanting to have a darker ending. And I'd be more than fine with that if the game was set up for it. But it's not. And you can't just gloss over the majority of what you've already written for Fernando to have him burst into silly cartoon villainy for the sake of an edgy ending. Regardless of the handful of narration warnings that something bad may happen.

So now you have joined the ranks of pretending that the game doesn't tell you the MC will ruin the lives of the LIs and pretending that he isn't taking advantage of them, isn't exploiting them, isn't using them for his own pleasure and profit?

The dude agrees to impregnate his LIs in secret against their will, to fullfill the wishes of his more blatantly evil mistress. But you see no evil here?

Sure you can blame the whole game instead of the ending. If you recall, I said from the start that the ending could work for a different game. But the problem is it's not a different game, so what difference does that make? Given that the game is what it is, the statement that the ending is bad still applies. As in if I say 5 is a bad answer to 2 + 2, of course you can suggest 5 could be a good answer if the problem weren't 2 + 2. But atm the problem is 2 + 2, so 5 is still a bad answer.

The game isn't what you claim it is.

Just these tags in of themselves show you are wrong:
Corruption, Drugs, Domination, Harem, Humiliation, Mind Control, Slave and Virgin.

But you know what tag the game doesn't have? Romance.

I rest my case.

 

[Mr_LK]

Honestly, I didn't like the game. I feel like an idiot, the game basically boils down to choosing to destroy the girls' lives to see the porn content or say no and just read. Does the protagonist have some mental problem? At certain moments he showed that he cared about the girls, at others he is a scoundrel who doesn't give a damn about them, if I knew the protagonist was like that I wouldn't have even started, and what the hell are those pictures in the office? The ending was one of the worst things I've ever seen, how did everything go so wrong at the same time? What a ridiculous script, in a story where there is cloning technology and "magic" having a harem is too much, I'm angry at the protagonist for thinking in a way that didn't align with me, but I'm more angry at myself for having gone all the way to the end of this story.
For those who liked it, congratulations, your taste is shit.

 

[Tehemai]

But you are basically arguing that right now, when you are demanding that the MC have to be evil through and through. Fine, you can have that preference if you want, but you are wrong about the inconcistency, the MC can both be an exploitable asshole and at the same time be a charming upbeat kind of dude who, in his own way, cares for his LIs. There is no contradiction there, because humanity isn't all black and white.



So now you have joined the ranks of pretending that the game doesn't tell you the MC will ruin the lives of the LIs and pretending that he isn't taking advantage of them, isn't exploiting them, isn't using them for his own pleasure and profit?

The dude agrees to impregnate his LIs in secret against their will, to fullfill the wishes of his more blatantly evil mistress. But you see no evil here?



The game isn't what you claim it is.

Just these tags in of themselves show you are wrong:
Corruption, Drugs, Domination, Harem, Humiliation, Mind Control, Slave and Virgin.

But you know what tag the game doesn't have? Romance.

I rest my case.

I'm not arguing that at all, you can't just assert whatever you want my argument to be as you please as a means to declare some kind of hollow victory in an internet argument. A cartoon villain is the type of character that acts exactly as evil as the scene requires him to be even if there was no logical consistency to his action. An actual nuanced anti-hero however has to either have some kind gradual transformation or some kind of consistent thought process that explains both his good and evil actions. This game practices the former, not the latter. The two Fernando personalities clearly contradict each other. This is obviously more of a Bakura from Yu-Gi-Oh situation than it is a Walter White situation. Except that here you don't even have that magic necklace to explain the sudden changes in his personality, so it's just straight bad writing.

And the tags are irrelevant. There's a difference between technically having those themes and actually executing upon those themes coherently. All it takes to be listed for any of those tags on this website is a single scene, regardless of if they fit into the game. That doesn't mean you built up to them properly.

 

[Vitklim]

Game has some of the funniest writing on this site, especially with the side character hires, but what the fuck was that ending man.

Not only do we get no pregnancy scenes, not only is the "incest" tag in question now, but MC also goes off the deep end at the end for no goddamn reason. Sure, from the beginning he wasn't written as a pure good-hearted guy, but that is precisely how he acted with all the girls, implying he truly cared about them. It is entirely consistent to be a self-serving dick to strangers, and loyal as fuck to those you care about. Hell, it would be very consistent if the MC actually wanted to exploit the main girls in the beginning, then grew to genuinely care about them, in fact that was the impression I had of the Jessica situation to some extent.

And instead we get whatever the fuck that ending scene was.

Hell, if you wanted to make this work and have a decently happy ending, make it so you destroy the cloning machine at the end, and write it so Mio's concern was anyone having access to it at all, MC included. Then have the Valeria discussion make Gloria doubt her situation and feelings for the MC for a while, but have some explanation for why it's all bullshit, and she's actually his sister. Then write in a way for the harem to be accepted, this isn't rocket science, people have written semi-convincing stories with that exact plot point many times before. And then, extend the game with more sex scenes after the opening, a half a year time skip, and more sex scenes after that. For extra points, after all that, fast forward to happy mothers everywhere.

Would've been a slam dunk of a game, especially since the management mechanics are good, and the writing is otherwise solid too.

 

[Omae wa shinda]

Feeling funny that if you sex and make them your wife, you basically condemn them into bad end?

Yet the game call you pussy because you didn't have sex with them. I mean he is a chad fucker NTR antagonist that fuck around during his time in campus or crime life so maybe this might be right...

"you suck because you didn't fuck your maid imao." Funny things is that beside maid, everything is good ending if you didn't fuck them imao

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Only Laoise is menacing because she secretly a vessel of island goddess and will sink the island, tho the pregnancy basically make whatever child they got gonna get into trauma therapist.

I mean it sort of foreshadowing, you basically wear Aladeen dictator outfit in the beginning, so you are some sort of villain. It gonna be like my dad is a dictator and my mom is retarded.

Spoiler

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

the game is great, kudo to Story Anon.

 

[Omae wa shinda]

Game has some of the funniest writing on this site, especially with the side character hires, but what the fuck was that ending man.

Not only do we get no pregnancy scenes, not only is the "incest" tag in question now, but MC also goes off the deep end at the end for no goddamn reason. Sure, from the beginning he wasn't written as a pure good-hearted guy, but that is precisely how he acted with all the girls, implying he truly cared about them. It is entirely consistent to be a self-serving dick to strangers, and loyal as fuck to those you care about. Hell, it would be very consistent if the MC actually wanted to exploit the main girls in the beginning, then grew to genuinely care about them, in fact that was the impression I had of the Jessica situation to some extent.

And instead we get whatever the fuck that ending scene was.

Hell, if you wanted to make this work and have a decently happy ending, make it so you destroy the cloning machine at the end, and write it so Mio's concern was anyone having access to it at all, MC included. Then have the Valeria discussion make Gloria doubt her situation and feelings for the MC for a while, but have some explanation for why it's all bullshit, and she's actually his sister. Then write in a way for the harem to be accepted, this isn't rocket science, people have written semi-convincing stories with that exact plot point many times before. And then, extend the game with more sex scenes after the opening, a half a year time skip, and more sex scenes after that. For extra points, after all that, fast forward to happy mothers everywhere.

Would've been a slam dunk of a game, especially since the management mechanics are good, and the writing is otherwise solid too.

The game is more toward impregnation, the incest is depending on either you put sibling or no, if you put in no, then MC will sort of see her like a cousin or but actively pursue her. If you put in sibling, MC will try to avoid getting frisky with her unless you accept Mio's option to impregnate, Valeria will come in and dismiss the incest part so it won't so weird but it created a hidden incest because only Gloria knew he get impregnated by nobody, not his brother but other just saw Yosuga no Sora moment. (This depend on your initial setting) This later lead to Mio become blood hungry due to your "sexy time with Gloria" because you screwed up "literally and figuratively" To avoid this, you must avoid talking to Gloria or even think having sex with her.

Everyone except Laoise(bimbo version, not her possessed form) doesn't approve of harem and think they are the only special one, Jessica doesn't want to betray her husband and she get haunt by the voice of her husband because this island is special where soul will gather here, i guess we don't get to touch that element unless author make some change like 1.2 version.

In order to Jessica to actively forget that haunting, you must break her in front of ghost husband. Kaoru need more training, so she be more acceptable. Laoise goddess will only harm you if you disturb her, clearly this game need more chapter or something to fleshed out or fill in the plot hole, but the time limit aspect he input in normal mode didn't help at all unless it is manageable like some old Japanese VN game. Remind me of HaHaranman. It is sort of incomplete....yet complete maybe DLC could fix this? Intial 1.0 version basically skip some of the steps and went straight to ending.

If you want baby belly or pregnant woman sex or some sort of pregnant closure, request it from the guy who made this.

 

[Ohbabc]

You know I actually enjoyed the ending, I can see why some might not but Holy Fuck.
There's been 300 messages since the release and most of its been bitching and groaning that it didn't fall into the typical "Everyone is okay with polygamy, gets married, pregnant, the end".

You know what the great thing about the creativity and free will we possess as human beings is?
You can choose to imagine your own ending to jerk off to rather than crying over the given ending.

Now some may say "Wah the game engine made for 12 year olds is more complex than my atrophed NEET brain can handle"

To prove you wrong, I a coomer with no coding knowledge have knocked this together in less than 2 hours.
I've made a mod to give the classic bog standard Harem Incest VN ending for you all.
So maybe, just maybe... Next time instead of spending hours arguing make your own fucking happiness.

Tropicali 1.0 - Happy Endings Mod


You'll only get the changes if you completed Juni's events.
Why? Because I said so.

Spoiler: Changelog

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Installation:
Download and extract, overwrite your game folder as necessary.
Seriously, if you can't figure this out just cut the feeding tube there's no hope.

 

[Unigo]

Honestly, i do like this ending. I find it fitting for the harem/impregnation path as the MC is often shown ignoring the other characters feelings or doubt without really ever going through the efforts to resolve them. My only problem with it is that it's the same even if you didn't use mio's pills.

Also, thanks for your efforts ohbabc, your mod is appreciated (especially the ending line )

 

[Leo D. Marstone]

You know I actually enjoyed the ending, I can see why some might not but Holy Fuck.
There's been 300 messages since the release and most of its been bitching and groaning that it didn't fall into the typical "Everyone is okay with polygamy, gets married, pregnant, the end".

You know what the great thing about the creativity and free will we possess as human beings is?
You can choose to imagine your own ending to jerk off to rather than crying over the given ending.

Now some may say "Wah the game engine made for 12 year olds is more complex than my atrophed NEET brain can handle"

To prove you wrong, I a coomer with no coding knowledge have knocked this together in less than 2 hours.
I've made a mod to give the classic bog standard Harem Incest VN ending for you all.
So maybe, just maybe... Next time instead of spending hours arguing make your own fucking happiness.

Tropicali 1.0 - Happy Endings Mod
View attachment 4679061
View attachment 4679056
You'll only get the changes if you completed Juni's events.
Why? Because I said so.

Spoiler: Changelog

You don't have permission to view the spoiler content. Log in or register now.

Installation:
Download and extract, overwrite your game folder as necessary.
Seriously, if you can't figure this out just cut the feeding tube there's no hope.

I mean...cool? For sure there will be people that will use that but the only single thing I don't understand since the ending debate.

Why the hate and why the insult to people who like classic happy harem storys? As if those are the most brain dead monkeys who can only think of jacking off till they die.
What does this say about fans of Out of Touch which is presumably exactly that? A feel good harem story?

Your post has the same energy as the game. A pure shitpost with the sole reason to mock and make fun of people. At least on the surface.

The statement "create your own happiness" reminds me of the latest patreon post about Tropicali and using the term coomer I just feel a bit inclined to think that this might be an alt account of story anon...no really xD
No one else is using this term on here other than the dev or people on his discord...which either way you must be from

Edit: Read the section about Juni. So my assumption was correct.

Also this is your first post since conception of your account 2017 and the debate about the endings for this particular game has stopped you from lurking and post this modification? Bravo this must have really irked you.

I also really doubt that your average porn game enjoyer would have put this together in just 2 hours without prior coding knowledge of renpy. Sry.

Since Tropicali is all about provoking thoughts let me leave you with this. People can imagine all they want but it doesn't change the fact that the ending is written and done. It is a forgone conclusion. A useless undertaking.

I can also imagine my dead mother in my head if I want to see her but it doesn't change the fact that, no matter how hard I want it to be true, that she is still dead and that I am miserable about it.

 

[Xenll]

I've made a mod to give the classic bog standard Harem Incest VN ending for you all.
So maybe, just maybe... Next time instead of spending hours arguing make your own fucking happiness.

Tropicali 1.0 - Happy Endings Mod
View attachment 4679061
View attachment 4679056
You'll only get the changes if you completed Juni's events.
Why? Because I said so.

Thanks. Here's hoping someone pays you. Oh wait no one will since you're not the Dev of the game/nor is it your game/nor did anyone ask for this. Congratulations in wasting your time.

 

[Vitklim]

I mean...cool? For sure there will be people that will use that but the only single thing I don't understand since the ending debate.

Why the hate and why the insult to people who like classic happy harem storys? As if those are the most brain dead monkeys who can only think of jacking off till they die.
What does this say about fans of Out of Touch which is presumably exactly that? A feel good harem story?

Your post has the same energy as the game. A pure shitpost with the sole reason to mock and make fun of people. At least on the surface.

The statement "create your own happiness" reminds me of the latest patreon post about Tropicali and using the term coomer I just feel a bit inclined to think that this might be an alt account of story anon...no really xD
No one else is using this term on here other than the dev or people on his discord...which either way you must be from

Edit: Read the section about Juni. So my assumption was correct.

Also this is your first post since conception of your account 2017 and the debate about the endings for this particular game has stopped you from lurking and post this modification? Bravo this must have really irked you.

I also really doubt that your average porn game enjoyer would have put this together in just 2 hours without prior coding knowledge of renpy. Sry.

Since Tropicali is all about provoking thoughts let me leave you with this. People can imagine all they want but it doesn't change the fact that the ending is written and done. It is a forgone conclusion. A useless undertaking.

I can also imagine my dead mother in my head if I want to see her but it doesn't change the fact that, no matter how hard I want it to be true, that she is still dead and that I am miserable about it.

More than that, the reason why people like the simple happy ending harem stories, and just happy endings of any kind, is because that is almost the only way for your emotional investment into the story to be paid off.

Nobody cares about your subversive high art or whatever, because at the end of the day, if someone sits down to read your story, they do so because they like the characters, they get emotionally attached to them, and they want them to succeed. Other factors play a role too of course, but character writing is one of the greatest pillars, especially for VNs like this one.

And when you get emotionally invested into a character, if they are betrayed by the writing to become completely different for no reason just to serve the story, or get screwed out of a happy ending, the emotional investment is betrayed as well, the whole thing feels like a waste of time, and next time you will view any story you read far more cynically, or just avoid investing yourself into the characters at all and treat is like pure jack off material. Which squanders the massive advantage that these visual novels have in the first place by being stories first and porn second.

Now this doesn't mean you can't have bad shit happen to your characters, or play as the bad guy, or have the bad guys win sometimes. What's important is that the story shouldn't conclude on such a note. Most people don't like tragedies, because unless it's extremely well written, and even then sometimes, it just feels like a misery party for the sake of it.
As an example, in this very game, the Juni story didn't really need an alteration. Yes, it was sad, tragic even, and you could write your way around her death, but you didn't need to. You could let her go as the story did, and have the happy ending for everyone else all the same.

Anyway, point is, reinventing the wheel is stupid, because you will either end up doing the same thing many authors before you did, or make a square wheel that doesn't serve its purpose and nobody likes. Fin.